Sunday, November 18, 2012

Waking Up

This morning I had one of those experiences that I'm sure many of you have had; it feels like waking up from a dream, a moment of revelation and clarity that makes you wonder. As I received God's grace and I was flooded with peace the absurdity of my actions struck me. Why did I stay away from the only person who really gets me, the only One who can truly understand me? He is the Person I can trust more that anyone else because He always wants what is best for me.

Before that moment I felt stuck and miserable and empty and I've been there for a while and I stayed there by choice. I knew the truth but I was unwilling to humble myself to receive that amazing grace. On this side of it I marvel that I stayed so long in such a miserable and yet curable state. Bottom line I'm praising God for helping me to finally see what was going on and go back to His open arms. Praise God for His grace.

I'm still learning about grace. A part of me still doesn't believe. I slipped back into that old rut where I am convinced that something free is too good to be true and love must always be earned. I struggle to know that God's love can be trusted.

Little by little He is showing me that even when I pull back and spit on His out stretched hand He still won't reject me. It really doesn't matter what I do, He will always love me the same. It is His nature to love. Piece by piece He is winning over my reticent heart.

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