Usually this is the time of year where I start to slide into depression. It's holiday season; mandatory parties where I have to dress up and contribute food items, obligatory random gift giving where no one ever really gets what they want and family time without my family. So many things to get excited about. If you know me you realize that I'm joking about most of these things but it is true that these have often been a couple of rough months for me in the past.
The main thing that I get pulled into is self pity over the fact that I don't have a typical or normal family (in reality the family I want is probably not normal, and my family is maybe too normal for my liking). I'm not getting down on myself for feeling lonely or acknowledging some of the hurt that it legitimately there but I am saying that I don't want to be controlled by my past anymore.
I suppose my family has some sort of Thanksgiving tradition, though none really stand out in my head. Maybe the only one that has been important to me is that there must be really good food to enjoy with those closest to me (particularly mashed potatoes). As I learn and grow I've started to realize that I can start my own traditions. This is part of growing up and being my own person. It's also part of being a man of God, choosing to separate myself from my past traditions/behaviors and move towards what God has called me to do.
I'll keep you posted on my new traditions this holiday season...
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