But a Beggar

I walked the darkened mountain paths
I cried out to the Unseen God
Speaking in anguish
Acknowledging the truth that has finally come home

I am but a beggar
I have nothing to give
There is not one thing that is my own
I look upon the meager things I have wrought
I despair for they are more than worthless and foul

I can but cry out for mercy
Why anyone would want me, I cannot comprehend
Whatever has befallen my touch has been corrupted
Completely empty is my store house
There is but sorrow and shame to share
My state is utterly helpless
I am nothing

A cold wind blew as I stood alone in shame
The wind carried a song sung long ago by the afflicted
“He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from
their destruction”

The Unseen God reminded me of His unchanging word
His unfailing faithfulness and never ending compassion
He asked that I but cried out to Him
I am but to fall at His mercy and He promised me renewed hope

I cried with all my heart and He met me there
I am a beggar
I am redeemed
I have everything I need

The Depths of Grace

God meets us only when we are willing to be absolutely honest with Him. Then He will go to any depth and continue for any length in order to rescue us from ourselves.

The Depths of Grace

Down here I can't see
Eyes wide in darkness be
Feet shod with thickened clay
A slow march to death each day

Nothing good I thought could be
Down in the depths here with me

Grace shone down to light the way
Breaking feet out from the clay
Lifting eyes to the sky
Giving life lest I die

Grace is a key breaking me free
Lifting me up from me to thee

Out of the pit I was pulled
Truth against the lies of old
Love so free surrounding me
Embraced by hope which set me free

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Hope and Glory Forever

I'm back, or at least for a while. I want to start writing again and I'm trying to make it a priority, but there are so many distractions. I love sharing with you all the craziness that goes on in my head. It helps me make a little bit of sense out of it all and maybe you can get to know me a little better in the process.

I'm going to try and post about once a week. I hope to finish The Curse of the Baker Family Pets soon, but we'll see what happens. The rest of my pet stories are a little harder on the ears and heart and I haven't figured out how to share them without losing you, my audience.

Here's a poem I wrote a couple days ago.

Hope and Glory Forever

Empty and lost from waiting
Long forgotten dreams have faded from existence

Once the sun was brightness to me and light and good
But blistering heat is what I understand in this time
Senseless, unending, torturous heat
Why must I sweat and be beaten by this oppression

I yearn to be filled up and to find the answer to hope
Will my mind ever overflow with joyous thoughts of the future

Darkness appeals to the overwhelmed senses, frayed for use
Clouds take me, wrap me, and swallow me whole in dimness
Cool comforting caresses of momentary shadows
Maybe they will last, maybe they will give me what I want

I long to be full and to see clearly through these delusions and lies
Peace has escaped my grasp, will I ever apprehend glory

Light can pierce darkness and reveal the hope within
Surrounding me with joy, crowding out the deception
Faith, hope and LOVE
Love is what I need, God is love

I will be overflowing one day, when I see His love and all that He is
Perfect love is mine, and all hope and glory forever

The Void

Yearning fills me
emotion takes over
dying for connection 
I feel lost

Love surrounds me
friends and family
perfect Father
I feel alone

Deep down
lost to all
what is good
I feel wrong

Into the void
feel the deep
engage the pain
I feel sad

Run from the void
jettison myself
disengage
I feel dead

Will it fade
the haziness
clouding me
I feel empty

The void
always there
never filled
never satisfied

I feel hopeless

But I know there is hope...

Psalm 42: 2-5
  
  My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
         When shall I come and appear before God?
  My tears have been my food day and night,
         While they continually say to me,
         “Where is your God?”
        
  When I remember these things,
         I pour out my soul within me.
         For I used to go with the multitude;
         I went with them to the house of God,
         With the voice of joy and praise,
         With a multitude that kept a pilgrim feast.
        
  Why are you cast down, O my soul?
         And why are you disquieted within me?
         Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him
         For the help of His countenance.