Uninspired

“There’s a secret that real writers know that wanna be writers don’t, and that secret is this: It’s not the writing part that’s hard. What’s hard is sitting down to write. What keeps us from sitting down is resistance.” -Steven Pressfield

Why is it that sometimes we feel inspired and sometimes there’s just nothing there. Right now I feel kind of blah. I want to write but it feels like I can’t. This year in Honduras a simple truth that I started to grasp last year was solidified. Basically it can be summed up by saying that we are better off choosing to act despite our feelings (this is why I’m writing right now). Last year on our trip I wasn’t feeling very spiritually connected and so when we had group prayer times I often didn’t pray. Someone challenged me to pray whether I am feeling connected or not and explained that my choice has an effect on the rest of the people around me. I decided to go ahead and pray. I’m so glad I did, because it changed me.

This is perspective, outlook, attitude and it all comes back to a choice. I can choose to stay where I’m at and let emotions control me and keep me from growing, or I can engage and move despite how I feel. Sometimes just taking a step will help me break out of negative emotions that are keeping me in a holding pattern.

When the rubber meets the road you get resistance. It scares me to try and do something different. Status quo is where I live. I don’t rock the boat and I never step out too far on the limb. I don’t know why I let myself be stuck in these worn out ruts? They’ve gotten me nowhere in life. Mostly I’ve gone in really big circles round and round. I’m sure you’ve figured out that I’m talking about way deeper stuff then whether I blog regularly or not. I'm talking about putting myself out there when I could get really hurt or choosing to love someone deeply who really doesn't seem to care at all. Or just being simply, honestly, me, without the walls, vulnerable.

All of this starts with little steps in the right direction. Not perfect steps, just steps. I'm going to start taking those steps one at a time. I'm going to forget how far I've come or how far I have to go and just take that next step. When I start wondering if I'll ever "make it" I'll remember that all that I have to do right now is put one foot in-front of the other.

I can't wait to see where these steps will take me. I know that one day I'll look back and see the bigger picture and so much more will make sense but until then I'll trust each step to my Savior and keep hoping in His goodness.